You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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