from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
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Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
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Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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