Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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