Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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