There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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