How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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