it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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