I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Randomize