your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize