He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize