Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize