Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
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He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
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We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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