Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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