he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
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Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
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You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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