I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize