dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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