You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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