i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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