i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize