I faked an abortion last night.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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