Your face is a jimmy john
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize