Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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