What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize