if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize