Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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