why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Green mimosas i think yes
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize