My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I just want to make out with him forever
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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