I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize