I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize