Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize