Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
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I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
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The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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