Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
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He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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