I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found puke in my bra..
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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