1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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