I skipped work to stalk him.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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