if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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