I'm pants shitting drunk right now
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize