You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
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Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
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If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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