It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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