ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize