they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize