well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
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This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
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whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
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