In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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