hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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