I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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