Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
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"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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