i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
what day is it and did you see me today?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize