Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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