So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
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This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
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Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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