you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize